Free.

My god, its taken me forever to write this post.

Its certainly has been a crazy few weeks months. I worked my ass off on what ended up being a 22-page senior thesis on a theory I don't care about and will henceforth never, ever think about again (god college was a joke) and thus, finished my undergraduate degree. I landed a job writing articles for Happy-Hour.com and was hired as a copy writing and editing intern for the chic and classy Dakota Jazz Club in questionable-but-lovey downtown Minneapolis (dreams come true <3). Summer joined the party and brought along sangria and reading in my sunny back yard and late, late full-moon nights.

Awww, the little bro and little sis. <3

Now that I have school and the search for summer work behind me, I finally have had some much-needed time to think through  the huge things that have happened to me this past year: coming back from Los Angeles; breaking up with Brian after a three-year, head-over-heels in love, roller coaster of a relationship, along with the subsequent fact that I am single for the first time since I was 15 (this blows my mind. 15!!!! ); finishing college; and the significant growing up life has sternly coaxed me to do in the few short months since I've started this blog.

After typing it all out, I'm kind of stunned at the myriad of places life has managed to take me in less than a year. I've been through a lot. Although, granted, a lot of these things have yet to sink in on an emotional level. But now I think its finally time for me to, for once, look back and focus on the past. My present/future-orientated self is resisting fiercely, but I have multiple reliable sources (guess not quite out of college mode yet) telling me its probably best to do some emotional housekeeping and face the reality of my situation: I'm done with college and really have no concrete plans for my life after this summer. If only I could go back in time and scold my drink-happy college-sophomore self. You were bad, 20-year-old Lauren. Get your life together (har har har yeah right, like she would listen. bitch).

The first glimpse I had of the reality that is hurdling towards me was in a short moment in May. As I walked out of my last exam on a lovely Friday afternoon, shaking with joy (but more likely due to the pot of coffee I had consumed after waking up at 6am to start studying), I suddenly felt the freest I had ever felt. It was incredible. I hope that all of you will experience this feeling someday; I can't describe it to you. But what I can tell you, is that in that that elating moment, I realized that I have nothing holding me back. With my college degree in the mail and the lack-of-boyfriend to consider when planning out my fast-approaching future (god that sounds cold. definitely haven't dealt with that yet), I can do whatever I want. I can go anywhere I want, become anything I want. I'm free. And although a month has passed since that moment, I still feel the same way, albeit in a slightly less intense state. Its morphed into a sort of electricity that I can feel buzzing at the back of my skull. And I like it. Change is coming, and I am so fucking ready for it.

That being said, I have obviously come to terms with the fact that that my time in Minneapolis is coming rapidly to a close. In a few short months, I'll be leaving this city. We knew this already. I've already freely spilled my guts about how Los Angeles beckons to me; how much that city whispers to me to return so we can continue our languid, dreamy romance. But there is something I need to tell the City of Angels, along with you, my friends. It's the one topic I'm going to try to tackle in the remainder of this blog post.

Because, truth is, my reunion with Los Angeles is going to have to wait. Because I'm going to New York City instead.

I miss California passionately. Sitting here at my desk, I look out my window and long to see mountains in the distance and know that just beyond them is the ocean. I miss the floral breeze, the beating sun on my bare legs, the citrus trees growing in gated front yards and my irreplaceable friends there. I still have an extensive list in the back of my planner of things I wanted to do and places I wanted to see in LA, most of them woefully lacking 'accomplished' check marks. But sometimes, no matter how much you want something, life offers you an alternative that you would be a fucking idiot to refuse. And that's where New York comes in.

Back in the winter, my displaced other half, the lovely Courtney Ryanne Morgan, landed an assistant teaching job in NYC with a great organization called Blue Engine. And that's when her unrelenting quest to get me in on her journey out East began. And for those of you who know Courtney, you're probably aware that when she wants you to do something, that shit is kind of hard to avoid (ilu Coco). Nearly every day there was a new NYC job posting, a new article about some awesome NYC event, or some strange happening in the city popping up in my Facebook notifications. She temped me with happy hours and glittery shoes and sex. Haha, okay, not that last one. But still. Shit that's hard to resist, you get the point.

Now, I'm generally not the kind of person who's easy to coerce into doing something. I have definitely inherited my father's famous stubbornness, and usually when I'm told to do something a ton of times I develop this strange, intense desire to do just the opposite (oooo, what a rebel). But Courtney's not-so-subtle attempts to get me to move to NYC with her did get me thinking. I've been to New York once, right after high school. My 18-year-old self sauntered around the Big Apple with freshly-dyed Atomic Pink hair and glittery orange eye shadow, accompanied by my then-10-year-old sister, mother and grandma. But aside from hitting up a sweet place called Jekyll & Hyde (which apparently is a horrible tourist trap, upon reading Yelp reviews. ouch), my first and only tour of NYC was pretty generic. Statue of Liberty, a Broadway show, lots of shopping. Ya know. Very vanilla.

So, aside from the 1. various 2. tempting 3. articles Courtney was sending me, I have very little experience with LA's cross-country metropolis sister. But the idea was starting to look more and more attractive the longer I considered it. So I did what I always do when I'm at an impasse: I called my mom. And this is what we came up with:

Thanks Mom.

1. I would have someone to live with (reunite the two halves of the antichrist in Gotham City? sounds like a double-dare)
2. I wouldn't need to get a car (i'm sensing a lot of crazy public transportation stories in the near future)
3. there are a lot of publishing companies in NYC (dream job = sexy socialite book editor)
4. why the fuck not (this was mostly a lauren contribution vs. a mom contribution)

And that was that. Point number 4 is the mantra I'm basing this life-decision on: Why the fuck not? And I feel pretty damn fine about it. Simply peachy.

Whew. That's one hurdle to get over. Or to at least have planned out, somewhat. Kinda. Not really. I still need a job. But WHATEVER. As my wonderful mother always tells me, "things always fall into place", and that claim has yet to let me down.

I'll try to keep you all updated as the other things mentioned previously in this post work their poisons out of my system. No promises though. I really don't want to bore you all to death.

With all that being said: my friends, this summer is sure to be a wild one. Lets do this.